I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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