You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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