Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
did i walk over a car last night?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
