guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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