it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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