If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
