I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There's always time for handjobs
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
