WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You need Xanax blowdarts
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
