He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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