She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize