Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
