Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
