A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
