she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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