let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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