Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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