sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
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Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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