Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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