My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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