...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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