Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
