Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
