yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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