Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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