Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I need moral support for this bender
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
