So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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