the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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