it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just want to make out with him forever
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
