Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
