is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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