god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
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