Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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