Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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