Screwed.edu
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
