Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sober January is a disaster.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
