So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
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it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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