Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Let's paint friendship bongs
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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