i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
