I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize