i barfeds in our rink
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
