Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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