Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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