1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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