This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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