he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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