you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
