we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
