All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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