so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just forgot I was standing up.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
