i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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