I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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