How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
