When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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