I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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