i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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